Hi, I'm Shelli.

I’m a public speaker and author—and a domestic violence survivor who has seen abuse up close and from every angle. From child witness, to teen victim, to cycle-breaker turned author and advocate.

My Story

I’m also a mother who made a conscious decision not to pass on the generational cycle of domestic violence I had been born into and trapped in for the first 23 years of my life.

That decision interrupted a generational pattern and created space for a different future—one built on healthy relationships, strong boundaries, and sound decision-making.

Ten years after escaping my abuser, I wrote Little Fish, a novel based on my experience as a teen victim between the ages of 17 and 22. The book was written with intention: to help young women recognize early warning signs before becoming entangled in abusive relationships, and to offer clarity and courage to those already seeking a way out. What began as a deeply personal account became a platform for education, awareness, and prevention-focused outreach.

A Picture of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is often misunderstood because it is rarely visible.

There is no single look, no consistent presentation, and no reliable visual indicator that tells the full story.

Faces, moments, and appearances almost never reveal what is happening behind closed doors—and that misunderstanding is one of the reasons abuse is allowed to continue. When violence can’t be easily recognized, it becomes easier to minimize, dismiss, or ignore.

Prevention begins with understanding what abuse actually looks like—and more importantly, what it doesn’t.

Healing & Integration

Healing from the violence I was exposed to as a child was neither quick nor linear. It required intentional work, professional support, and a willingness to address not only what happened, but how it lived in my body, my decisions, and my nervous system.

Today, I live in a state of emotional and nervous system regulation I once couldn’t imagine was possible. That healing wasn’t about erasing the past—it was about integrating it, so it no longer dictated my reactions, relationships, or sense of safety.

More importantly, the violence ended with me.

A TRANSITIONAL CHARACTER is:

“A person who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a lineage. Who somehow finds a way to metabolize the poison and refuses to pass it on to their children. They break the mold. Their contribution to humanity is to filter the destructiveness out of their own lineage so that the generations downstream will have a supportive foundation upon which to build productive lives.”

— Dr. Carlfred Broderick, Ph.D.

Why DV Out Loud Exists

I founded DV Out Loud to help break generational cycles of family and partner violence.

By speaking and writing about my own experiences, I’m able to educate and support people at different stages—those learning to recognize abuse, those working to heal from it, and the professionals helping guide that process. This work is rooted in clarity, accountability, and the belief that understanding changes outcomes.

When people have the language and tools to see abuse clearly—whether early on or after harm has occurred—they’re better able to make healthy decisions, build stable relationships, and raise children who don’t need to heal from their childhoods.

That's the whole point.

Education & Professional Experience

My professional background spans several industries and has allowed me to work alongside hundreds of legal and financial professionals, executives, and organizational leaders.

I completed Professional Communication studies at Moraine Park in 2016, further strengthening an already established career that spans more than 20 years in bank management and C-suite executive support. That experience has shaped a professional approach grounded in discretion, strategic judgment, and effective communication.

Over the course of my work—both professionally and through volunteer service—I’ve had the opportunity to support thousands of people. I’ve been of service with organizations including:

P.A.V.E.
Deaf Unity
Dodge County SHRM
Junior Achievement
Rotary Club

For more than 15 years, my volunteer and service work has focused on domestic violence outreach and advocacy. Since writing Little Fish, I’ve spoken publicly on domestic violence, supported community education and fundraising efforts, and contributed both time and resources to organizations serving victims and survivors. This work has included raising awareness, generating financial support, and offering direct service—always with the goal of helping reduce stigma, expand understanding, and demonstrate that life after domestic violence is possible.

Trauma-informed Training & Integration

I’ve participated in more than 200 hours of therapy, including EMDR, to reprocess traumatic memories and address the subconscious beliefs formed through childhood exposure to domestic violence. This work included treating complex PTSD, regulating a chronically dysregulated nervous system, and dismantling survival-based patterns rooted in prolonged stress.

In addition to formal therapy, I’ve completed extensive self-directed healing and integration work. Together, this training informs both my personal healing and my professional understanding of how trauma presents—and how it can be addressed.

Looking Forward

DV Out Loud exists to bring domestic violence out of the shadows—to name it clearly, responsibly, and early enough to change outcomes. Through clear language, early education, and responsible intervention, harm can be recognized sooner and interrupted before it becomes generational.